CHOOSING HAPPINESS

   Photo by Skyberry Studios

DISCLAIMER: This is not an Intellectual Property article.

If you do not take anything else from this article, remember this, happiness is a choice.

Technology has made it easier to see at a glance, how other people live and what constitutes some of their daily activities (and for some, all of their daily activities). This, in turn, may have led to the increase in personal wants, as we can examine other people’s lives vis-à-vis our own. Before the advent of social media in Nigeria, my wants were limited to things I saw in magazines, heard about or saw physically myself thus my wants were far less than they are now. 

Furthermore, society constantly pushes us to want more things, expect more out of our lives, and attain higher levels of success. The retail industry promises us that happiness lies in the next purchase and keeps us hooked to products, like an addict in search of the ultimate high. We fill our lives with things, from clothes to certificates to relationships to jobs hoping that each or any of these would bring us happiness. We strive to be better at our jobs, to be everything to everyone, to have people like, admire and emulate us. We chase success, desire luxury, demand respect and want prestige, all the while thinking happiness lies at the bottom of the societal rainbow we have visualized and worked hard to make a reality.

It is no wonder then, that we do not understand why we are unhappy irrespective of our achievements and why true happiness seems out of reach. However, I am learning that the secret (well it is not that much of a secret anymore since many people have articles and talks on this subject) is intentionally choosing to be happy where you are, with what you have, and at every moment. Please note that I said learning and not learned because I believe it is a process, which continues throughout life, of which I am just a beginner. Now before anyone misunderstands or misquotes me, if you find yourself in a harmful situation, please get out and get help. I cannot stress this enough. Do not choose to be happy while remaining in a bad situation.

Now back to happiness, being intentional about happiness is not going to be easy, and for someone like me whose middle name is melancholy (with a capital “M”), it is sometimes extremely difficult and tasking. Nevertheless, I started telling myself that I deserve to be happy just because I am breathing, and that what I have or do not have should not take away from my happiness. I have tried to spread happiness because I read somewhere that making someone happy is a sure way to make yourself happy. I have also tried not to measure myself by other people’s achievements or standards because I am a different person and my journey is different from everyone else.

So, where are you on your journey? Are you on an intentional happiness journey or are you relying on your next achievement to bring you happiness? If you are the latter, you may still be unhappy after being promoted at work and earning a great salary. Please make goals and smash them, have dreams and aspirations and work towards them but never build your happiness around those things. Instead, let your happiness emanate from self-love and acceptance, from being at peace as much as you can, from doing what you love, and being around people that love and care about you.